How do I find my life's purpose?
By PJ McClure
It's the mythical quest that has lead people into the desert for centuries. "What does my life mean and who is going to tell me?"
Raised in the Christian faith, I read and heard numerous references to gifts, talents, and purposes that someone might have. Even more stories surrounded people having a dramatic epiphany that revealed their God-given purpose on this earth. A burning bush experience.
What I've discovered through studying and working with thousands of successful individuals over more than 12 years is that purpose is only one of seven necessary elements for a successful life. If we were to all get a certified letter from God today and in it was our purpose spelled out in detail… its usefulness would be limited if we didn't possess at least two of the other six elements.
I'll admit, it would be pretty cool to get that letter, but there are other elements we need to harness before purpose matters. People have heard me explain this point for years and still yet, one of the most common questions I hear is, "How do I find my purpose?"
If this question were only about purpose, I would launch into a simple and powerful lesson on defining your purpose. We would break it down until everyone understood; we don't FIND our purpose outside of ourselves. We DEFINE our purpose from the core of who we are. Perhaps we'll tackle that one another time though.
Through my own experience and the experiences of thousands of others, I've learned that this question of "finding purpose" is actually a case of mistaken identity. Seeking our life's purpose seems grand and mature. "It's not that I can't hold a job or commit to a relationship. I'm just trying to find my purpose."
Finding our life's purpose also seems like the cure to whatever ails us. "Life seems so pointless. If only I could find my purpose."
I'm not belittling those feelings at all because they were my feelings too. The emotions are valid, but they are not corrected with purpose and the answer certainly isn't outside of us. The real question to address the situation comes from the elements of awareness and vision. "What do I want my life to look like?"
Everyone I have spoken with who asked the purpose question thought they were only looking for direction. They are missing so much more. Most people do not realize; direction is useless unless you know where you are and where you want to go.Once those are determined, direction can make a difference.
Think of your life as a map. The map is only a representation, not the real thing. However, the map provides you with references and ideas of potential destinations. Awareness is your ability to put a dot on the map and label it, "I am here." Vision is picking a spot on the map you want to go. Your purpose is what guides you from where you are to where you want to be.
If I hand a compass to someone that is completely lost, they might thank me, but I haven't really done them any good. In a state of panic and depression (lost-ness) any direction seems like an improvement. However, without any navigational reference points or idea where you want to go, you could end up more lost than before. Purpose serves as a guide, not a starting point or destination. Purpose does not help in the absence of awareness and vision.
For today, let's concentrate on awareness. Most people I meet are closer to a vision for their life than they are to true awareness. At least 60% of my clients realize they are much closer to their vision than they thought once awareness is settled.
To get started and mark your spot on the map, you need to answer a few questions. Be honest with your answers and make sure to write something meaningful. Answers like, "Fine," "Could be better," or "Okay" don't cut it. Open up enough to write what "Fine" or "Okay" means.
Also, remember this is not about grading or judging yourself. We just want to establish a level of awareness so you know where you are starting. Let's begin with your relationships.
How is your relationship with:
o Your children (individually)
o Your spouse or significant other
o Your friends (both quality and number)
o Your coworkers (peers, employees, boss)
What do your relationships tell you about your life right now?
What is your level of fulfillment with your:
o Career
o Spirituality
o Physical fitness
o Hobbies
What area do you want growth and improvement in first?
Do you have a clear picture of your path forward?
This isn't an exhaustive list of questions, but it gives you a push in the right direction. If another area occurs to you as you write, make note of it and expand your awareness. Once you've finished answering the questions, write a statement about where you are in your life and how it makes you feel to acknowledge it.
Now take a deep breath and smile. You've done more than 98% of the population by intentionally recognizing where you are. Even if you aren't excited about this spot on the map, you should celebrate. With this established, getting to where you want to go is much easier. Make a habit of staying aware and marking your position on the map.
If you want to ask the question, "What is my purpose in life?" I want to encourage you, first establish where you are. Go through the awareness exercise and put a pin in the map. "This is where I am." From there, consider your vision for your life. What do you want your life to look like? With awareness and vision established, purpose is easier to define and will guide your every step from one destination to the next.
PJ McClure is the world's foremost authority on the role of mindset in personal and business success. He's one of the most sought after performance coaches today and has transformed the lives of thousands of entrepreneurs. Click here to download his 10 FREE videos "Build Your Personal Foundation" right here http://themindsetmaven.com/arc
{ 5 comments… read them below or add one }
Another “AHA” moment, Sandi. Thanks for sharing it!
Great post today, Sandi…and PJ. I did take action today, I read this post first thing…did the exercise from PJ and am feeling awesome. Thank you for setting the stage for my day…off on the right foot!
I even realized something about myself that I never knew was deep inside of me. It feels good to connect with who I really am. Can’t wait to share it with others around me today.
Carla
Thank you Sandi for sharing this!
Sandi,
This is another great post.
It seems a shame to me that people meander through life (and work) without every really considering who they are, what their values are, what are they really good at (i.e. their innate talents), where they want to be, how can they help improve the world, etc.
So, as you say, even taking the small steps outlined in this article is a step (or two) in the right direction.
It’s actually thinking like this that led me to resign from my well-paid 20-year job at a major British bank, get out of a long and disastrous first marriage, move to the USA and set up, together, an organic pet health business so that we can help save animals’ lives.
Rae & Mark
An excellent post: so true we can’t begin the journey until we know where we are starting off from
Eileen
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