"Where There's A Will It's Up To You To Find The Way- How to overcome life's challenges, stop being a victim & live the life of your dreams"
By: Sandi Krakowski
If she said it one more time I thought for sure I'd lose it.
Whining and acting like a victim. UGH.
"I've been pushing my exhusband and trying to get him to do things but whenever I talk to him he won't do what I ask."
We'd bought this gorgeous house in Jan of this year. On the purchase agreement was a swingset that was left in our yard. We agreed that in April, when the ground thawed well enough to move it, the sellers would contact us and move it. It never dawned on me that when July approached the swingset would still be in my backyard.
Before you think I don't like swingsets or kids, please know I have 3 sons! Swingsets were a part of our lives (and my sanity!) for many years when I was a young Mommy. But currently my 17 and almost 16 year old are not into swingsets. Skateboards, swim parties and girls maybe, swingsets? Not so much.
Giving the woman who sold us the house several months to come take it was beginning to weigh on me and it was finally time to do something about it.
She's a professional business woman and he owns a medical practice….. I tend to expect professionalism from professionals… The last straw came when she whined that she was pushing him and texting him and trying to get him to move still 3 months later.
I was frustrated, drew a line in the sand that by July 2nd it would be removed and told my husband Alan, "Where there's a will those who succeed in life make a way!"
Alan looked over at me and said, "Sounds like a good article for your newsletter." Boy was he right!
The situation above bothers me a lot and not because I am so upset about this blasted swing set (which is huge by the way!) is in my yard…. but the problem is I have a very low tolerance for people who are stuck in a victim mindset, manipulate their way thru life and don't take personal responsibility for things.
As a business and marketing coach I've learned that those who MAKE a way usually get done what they need to. Waiting for someone else to do something we need done is NOT how you build a 7-figure business.
But the thing that got to me the most was this- this is a woman who has awards for her career! And she was blaming her inability to move a swingset (which her kids wanted desperately) on her exhusband. Ok ok, big sigh….
I'm a business woman at the core of who I am and living a life of integrity and honor is what I strive for daily. But you have to understand, I wasn't always the "Get It Done!" woman that I am today. In years gone by I also manipulated my way through things, lived in lack and went without things that I needed because I wouldn't take personal responsibility for things.
In plain English, it used to be normal to blame others for my circumstances, and when people weren't available to blame, it would be situations, events and anything I felt held me back. Could this be why I'm so passionate about people who are stuck? Because I've been there?
When all was said and done, the reason I succeeded in business is because a decision was made to GO AFTER the things God called me to. This would require that I deal with all the changes that would come up.. Biggest change needed? In myself. I had to get OVER myself first.
Maybe you are at a crossroad and while you were reading about this situation you might have even thought I'm being hasty to not give her more time. Maybe you can relate with where she is at.
Occasionally we'll stay right where we are in life because we believe that the pain of changing or doing something we're unfamiliar or uncomfortable with is going to be less than the current pain and struggle we're in. But the reality is, the current struggle and pain we're in has grown so comfortable that we've completely missed the fact that we've actually grown USED to it…….. built a house and a life around it and made it a part of our existence. When this happens, and we get frustrated or disgusted enough, we'll do one of two things-
1. Take personal responsibility for it
2. Blame someone or something else for it
People who succeed in anything- sports, business, finances, relationships, life in general are those who don't wait for things to get better- they make them better.
They aren't the ones who are hoping the earth, the moon and the stars will finally align so that things can change. They are people who step up and change things.
Learning to look at options, think outside of the box and really take an "IF my life depended on it" approach will radically change your life, if you are willing to go there. I'm sure glad I did 8 years ago.
Let's look at what the woman who sold us the house could have done.
A. She has an option to wait on others and complain when they don't respond to her nagging
B. She can hire a moving company to disassemble and move things
C. She can sell it, buy a new one and then have the new store assemble and deliver the new one
D. She can go without one and agree that the reason she doesn't have the swingset is because she didn't care
Each of these situations has a ramification to it. A result that WILL occur, regardless. Each requires a decision to be made, whether conscious of unconscious, they require a decision.
We never sit in life's challenges and situations unchanged because we are totally 100% helpless and it's someone else's fault. The truth is, we are where we are because we haven't given any thought to the idea that anything can change. Anything.
As someone who had battled life threatening disease, abuse and suffering in my life…. debt, fear and depression… I am VERY passionate about seeing people realize that ANYTHING can change. I love marketing and I really enjoy helping people grow their business…. but seeing the lights go on, a change made, a new way of thinking occur? That is what I live for!
Is there something holding you back from your dreams? Or have you given into the notion that there is?
If your life depended on it and you had only 7 days to fix things….. where would you start? These are the kind of questions that Champions always ask themselves… and they have support systems around them asking as well.
What if every protection and cushion around you that you've come to depend upon was removed… could you survive?
If you're stuck or in a funk…. take some time to find the answers. And then…. take action.
Building the business of your dreams requires work, time and money. There's no way around it.
But you can easily and quickly recoup your investment costs when you step into a market that is in high demand and you get the skill that is necessary to perform an excellent job. So what is YOUR responsibility? Find a market that is wide open begging for business and get the skill to outpace everyone in that particular niche.
Where are you today? Are you uncomfortable or are you willing to do whatever it takes to make a way in the midst of life's greatest challenges.
There is no greater rush than getting past your own fears and excuses. But it doesn't happen riding solo and doing everything alone. You're going to need someone to lead the way, someone who has done what you want to do leading you … and a team of people cheering you on, when even the people closest to you don't understand or care.
If you don't have such a support team in your life we'd be honored to be that for you. Many of our clients have said we are a "Lifeline" in their darkest of days. Some have said we've been instrumental in keeping their family together! All I know is…. we've made a decision to love our customers, support them, invest into our own selves so we can be at the top of our game and the end result has been NOTHING short of enchanting… as Guy Kawasaki would say!
YOU mean the world to us! We want to help you FIND a way!
Remember, the greatest of challenges are a SET UP for God and man to partner together and create something amazing!
I BELIEVE IN YOU! 🙂
P.S. That's me over Maui parasailing 1200 feet up! This was something I used to be so afraid of! Not any longer! Oh and by the way, the swingset is leaving this Wednesday. I called the ex myself and he was very cordial.